First-Time Surrogate FAQ: 25 Questions Every New Surrogate Asks

Becoming a surrogate for the first time is a big decision, and it's natural to have questions—lots of them. We've compiled the most common questions first-time surrogates ask, with honest, straightforward answers to help you decide if this journey is right for you.

Getting Started

1. Do I qualify to be a surrogate?

Basic requirements include:

• Age 21-40 (some agencies accept up to 42)
• At least one previous pregnancy carried to term
• Currently raising at least one child
• BMI within fertility clinic's acceptable range
• Non-smoker, no drug use
• No major pregnancy complications in the past
• Stable living situation and support system
• U.S. citizen or permanent resident

2. Can I be a surrogate if I've had a C-section?

Yes! OFG accepts surrogates with up to 2 prior C-sections. Candidates with 3 prior C-sections are reviewed case-by-case. Your fertility clinic will assess your uterine health.

3. Can I be a surrogate if I've had my tubes tied?

Absolutely. Gestational surrogacy uses IVF, so your fallopian tubes aren't involved. The embryo is placed directly into your uterus.

4. What if I'm on birth control?

You'll need to stop birth control before the medical process begins. Your fertility clinic will guide you on timing and transitioning to the medication protocol.

The Process

5. How long does the whole process take?

From application to birth: typically 15-20 months. Breakdown:

• Application and screening: 1-2 months
• Matching: 1-3 months
• Legal contracts: 1-2 months
• Medical preparation and transfer: 1-2 months
• Pregnancy: 9 months

6. What does the screening process involve?

Expect:

• Detailed application about your health and pregnancy history
• Medical records review
• Physical exam at the fertility clinic
• Psychological evaluation
• Background check
• Home assessment (in some cases)
• Interview with your partner/support person

7. What are the IVF medications like?

You'll take medications to prepare your uterine lining for the embryo transfer. These typically include:

• Estrogen (pills, patches, or injections)
• Progesterone (injections or suppositories)
• Possibly Lupron to suppress your natural cycle

Side effects vary but may include bloating, mood changes, headaches, and fatigue. Most surrogates say it's manageable.

8. Does the embryo transfer hurt?

The transfer itself is similar to a Pap smear—mild discomfort but not painful. It takes about 10-15 minutes. No anesthesia is needed, and you can return to normal activities within a day or two.

9. What are the chances the transfer will work?

Success rates vary by clinic and embryo quality, but gestational surrogacy has high success rates—often 60-75% per transfer. If the first transfer doesn't work, you'll typically try again.

Money Matters

10. How much do surrogates get paid?

First-time surrogates with OFG receive $60,000-$80,000 in base compensation, plus additional payments for:

• Monthly allowance ($200-$300)
• Embryo transfer fee ($1,000)
• Maternity clothing ($750-$1,000)
• C-section if needed ($2,500-$5,000)
• Multiples (additional $5,000-$10,000 for twins)
• Medications and procedures

11. Is surrogate compensation taxable?

This is a gray area. Many surrogates don't report compensation as income, treating it as reimbursement for pain and suffering. However, tax laws are complex—consult a tax professional familiar with surrogacy.

12. When do I start getting paid?

Payment schedules vary, but typically:

• Initial payment after contracts are signed
• Monthly payments begin after confirmed pregnancy heartbeat
• Additional payments for milestones and procedures throughout

13. What expenses are covered beyond compensation?

Intended parents cover:

• All medical expenses and insurance
• Legal fees
• Travel to appointments
• Lost wages for appointments
• Childcare during appointments
• Housekeeping help if on bed rest

Emotional Questions

14. Will I get attached to the baby?

This is the most common concern, and it's valid. Here's what experienced surrogates say: most feel a special bond with the baby they're carrying, but it's different from the bond with their own children. You know from the start this baby belongs to another family, and that knowledge shapes the attachment. Psychological screening helps ensure you're emotionally prepared, and counseling support is available throughout.

15. What if I change my mind and want to keep the baby?

In gestational surrogacy (which is what most agencies offer), you have no genetic connection to the baby. Combined with the legal contracts and California's clear surrogacy laws, the intended parents are the legal parents from conception. Surrogates who have been properly screened rarely experience this concern in practice.

16. Will giving the baby to the parents be sad?

Many surrogates describe delivery day as emotional but joyful. You're witnessing a family being born. Some surrogates feel a brief "postpartum" period, but knowing the happiness you've created typically outweighs the sadness. Post-birth counseling is available.

17. What kind of relationship will I have with the intended parents?

This varies widely based on everyone's preferences:

• Some surrogates become like extended family
• Some maintain friendly but less close relationships
• Some prefer minimal contact after birth

You'll discuss expectations during matching to ensure compatibility.

Family and Work

18. How do I explain surrogacy to my kids?

Most children adapt well when given age-appropriate explanations: "Mommy is helping another family have a baby because they can't grow one in their own tummy." Picture books about surrogacy can help. Many surrogate children feel proud of their mom's generosity.

19. Does my partner have to be involved?

Your spouse or partner will need to:

• Consent to the surrogacy
• Participate in psychological screening
• Sign legal documents
• Abstain from intercourse during certain medical phases

Their support is crucial for a successful journey.

20. Can I work during the pregnancy?

Yes! Most surrogates continue working throughout pregnancy, just as they would with their own pregnancies. Your contract will cover lost wages if medical complications require time off.

21. What if my employer doesn't support it?

You're not legally required to disclose that you're a surrogate. To your employer, it's simply a pregnancy. Discrimination based on pregnancy is illegal.

Medical and Birth

22. Who decides about prenatal care and delivery?

Your surrogacy contract will outline decision-making. Generally:

• You have autonomy over your own body and health
• Intended parents have input on the baby's care decisions
• Major decisions are discussed collaboratively
• Your health always takes priority

23. Will the intended parents be at the birth?

Usually yes, and this is typically written into the contract. Many surrogates find it beautiful to witness the parents meeting their baby. You'll discuss birth preferences and who will be in the delivery room.

24. What if there are pregnancy complications?

All medical decisions prioritize your health first. Contracts address scenarios like bed rest, preterm labor, and medical emergencies. You'll have health insurance specifically for the surrogacy pregnancy.

25. What's recovery like after birth?

Similar to any pregnancy—6-8 weeks for full recovery, shorter if vaginal delivery without complications. You'll have postpartum support, and intended parents typically provide compensation for recovery time.

Ready to Learn More?

If you've read this far, you're seriously considering an incredible journey. Surrogacy isn't for everyone, but for the right person, it's one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do.

Think you might be ready? Start your application or contact us with questions. We're happy to talk through any concerns—no pressure, no commitment.